A Story Time About Investing in Yourself, Investing in Your Wardrobe & Overcoming Outfit Paralysis

Think back to a time when you last wore something uncomfortable.  I’ll give you a minute to process…. While you think about that time, here’s a scenario to help jog your memory. Think about those Christian Louboutin, So Kate, 120mm pumps you’ve been coveting for years.  They look sexy as hell!  You can picture how amazing you’ll look & how you’ll feel as you strut down the street wearing them.

Then, you look for your size only to see your top three colors are sold out.  But you don’t mind because you start eyeballing the price.  Waiting for the restock gives you time to save up your coins. After weeks of waiting, you’re finally ready to commit. Between saving up for your investment & waiting to see your size back in stock, it’s been a journey.

You’ve gathered your dollars to cover the $800 price tag (plus tax) for the color you want.  As you press buy or tap your credit card, a tickle of discomfort flows through your body.  Regret.  That feeling is instantaneous when you make a big investment in yourself. It’s normal, but that doesn’t make it feel any easier when it creeps up on you.

Like any other investment, doubt crosses your mind before you make your final choice.  From time to time, you wonder if these, So Kate pumps are worth it.  Are you choosing the right color, the right leather, the right design, or material? There are so many factors, including listening to your gut.  Ultimately, you commit & decide to buy. Whether you purchase them in a store, (those are few & far between for inventory), or clicked buy online, you’ve been tracking your package daily for updates.  You wonder, “When will they arrive?”

Finally, one glorious day about 3-8 business days after your purchase, you see the box you’ve been pining for on your doorstep.  You rush inside with your treasure. Too excited to grab a pair of scissors you use your keys to slice & dice the shipping tape apart from the cardboard.  You have this overwhelming feeling of excitement & shout, “They’re here! I can’t wait to try them on!”

From the moment you unbox the So Kate, there’s a sense of belonging. You are now a part of the fashionable set.  An unspoken club for the red soled girlies.  The brown box sits on your lap begging you to lift the lid.  So, you of course comply & remove the lid.  Those velvety-soft, red dust bags stare back at you, foreshadowing the experience you’ve been hoping for over weeks of waiting. The famous red sole & lacquer-like finish on the leather pumps is intoxicating.  Seeing Christian Louboutin stamped inside the pumps & embossed on the arch of the soles gives you butterflies.  The pointed toes & spiked heels drip with sex-appeal.  You can’t wait to slip them on. 

As you pull the pumps from the box the realization that 120mm is 5-inches pops into your head.  Thoughts like, when was the last time I wore a pair of heels? Are these too sexy for me? Are these too high for a night out? What will I wear these with? Now before you request a shipping label to return your dream shoes, let’s rewind the tape. 

There’s nothing wrong with coveting a trendy or fashionable pair of shoes, handbag, or clothing brand.  Where things go wrong, is when they’re not practical for your lifestyle. The lack of planning & research is the reason why you experience doubts before making a big investment in your wardrobe.  You’ve been saving for this purchase, done your due diligence by reading (mostly 5-star) reviews & asking for lots of opinions. One step I’m certain you missed, “asking yourself what in my closet will I wear with these magical pumps?”.

Without a plan about how you’ll wear these shoes, you’re stuck in what I call outfit paralysis.  Chances are you’ve felt this paralysis before.  If you’ve never purchased a pair of designer shoes like Louboutin’s, or spent close to $1000 on one item, you’re probably reading this shaking your head.

For those of you who can relate, you’re not alone!  I can get into all sorts of stories from clients who’ve experienced outfit paralysis in a later post.  The commonality among all of you feeling this way is a lack of understanding yourself. Hear me out on this, understanding yourself means more than listing things you like or dislike.  It’s about having self-awareness & being mindful, knowing your aesthetic, having realistic standards for yourself & being patient about achieving your goals.